Author Archives: Kelsey Browning

Texas-isms: Sickos

Written on Feb 22, 2012 by in Jolly Ranchers, Snickers

We haven’t revisited the great state of Texas-isms since January. And since spring brings all types of colds, flus and sniffles, I figured you could use some phrases to label all those ailments going around.

Stove up – hurt or sore.

Ex. “My back’s been plumb stove up since I carried Bertha over the threshold last weekend.”

(Tech Guy likes to use this one as a euphemism for constipation as well – LOL)

Conkus of the bonkus – some ill-defined malady.

Ex. “Why wasn’t Aunt Myrna at Sunday services this week?”

“She’s come down with conkus of the bonkus and ain’t been outta bed since Wednesday.”

Puny – sick. This is one I hate, but my mom uses it with regularity.

Ex. Your mom puts her palm to your forehead and says, “You feelin’ puny?”

To which you reply, “No.”

And she says, “I’m pretty sure you’re comin’ down with the conkus of the bonkus.”

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Today is both World Thinking Day and National Margarita Day. Dunno about you, but I’m damn well thinking about having a margarita. Frozen, with salt on the rim, please.

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How Bad Dog Came to Live in Our House

Written on Feb 20, 2012 by in Life Savers

Bad Dog's real name is Jacob.

Since today is Love Your Pet Day, this is perfect timing to tell you Bad Dog’s story.

When we moved overseas, Smarty Boy and I spent some time at the Qatar Animal Welfare Shelter (QAWS) walking dogs. Qatar isn’t known for it’s love for domestic animals, so some of these guys were in pretty bad shape. Especially one brown-eyed, blond-furred charmer with a cone on his head.

At that time, he was pretty sad looking with that “lampshade” around his head to keep him from chewing and licking his wounds–a cut on his head and a softball-sized swelling on his leg. Wounds that were filled with maggots when he was brought to the shelter after having been dragged under a car.

We talked to him through the fence on his run because he wasn’t well enough for us to walk him.  Believe it or not, he came up to the front of his kennel and tried to lick our fingers through the mesh. Once, like the goof he is, he got stuck in the doorway of his kennel because he couldn’t get his head through with that cone on :-) . But he kept smiling that doggie smile and wagging his tail.

Can you spot Bad Dog?

When QAWS put Bad Dog’s story on their website and people began calling because he’s part Labrador Retriever, I knew we needed to find out what it would take to bring him home with us.

And now, over six years later, we’re pretty sure he doesn’t remember life on the streets in a country hostile to dogs. What he does remember, however, is breakfast is now served at 6am, dinner at 5pm and he’s the undisputed king of our house.

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As you already know, today is Love Your Pet Day. So take a few minutes to give your dog an extra belly scratch, your cat an extra cuddle (if she’ll allow it!), your gerbil an extra spin on the wheel or your horse an extra sweet carrot.

 

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Red Hot Read: The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything

Written on Feb 17, 2012 by in Red Hot Reads

 

Title: The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything

Author: Sir Ken Robinson

Genre: Creativity, Motivation, Non-fiction

Why The Element is a Red Hot Read: To get a flavor of Sir Ken Robinson, you can check out the videos of his TED talks – Do Schools Kill Creativity? and Bring on the Learning Revolution. He’s probably one of the few humorous Brits I’ve ever been exposed to. He lives in Southern California now, which may have helped him become even more laid back :-) . Regardless, Robinson is considered an expert on creativity and innovation. In The Element, he discusses why it’s important for each of us to work to discover our own “element.” Although many of his examples are about the big and famous folks, he gives the common woman hope that she too can find and excel in her element.

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Today is My Way Day, so don’t take crapola off anyone. Order your Starbucks coffee exactly the way you want it, no matter if it takes 15 minutes to outline all the skinnies, talls, grandes and extra syrup.

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SmartA$$ Gifts from Anne Taintor

Written on Feb 15, 2012 by in Smarties, Snickers

If you haven’t been lucky enough to stumble into a gift shop stocking Anne Taintor merchandise, you’re missing out. There’s not a woman I know who wouldn’t agree with at least one of Taintor’s pithy sentiments.

Next time you’re looking for a fun gift for a girlfriend, consider one of these little beauties. And heck, buy yourself one while you’re at it :-) .

 Old enough to know better…too young to give a rat’s ass


Fabulous little make-up bag or wristlet.

 

Did we forget the children at the baggage claim…again?

If this luggage tag doesn't make you laugh, you don't need to travel.

 

She kind of enjoyed working for an idiot.

How many times have you felt this way? Everyone needs a set of these post-its, even if you work for yourself!

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Today is National Gum Drop Day. I’m partial to the pink and orange ones. If you’re feeling particularly spiteful toward someone, buy a bag of gum drops and “accidentally” sprinkle them in a sunny spot in their car. Sure to make an impact!

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In Your Crockpot Tonight: Carnitas

Written on Feb 13, 2012 by in Yum Yums

I’m a fan of the crockpot, but one of the biggest drawbacks is most recipes I have for cooking in the thing involve chicken and cream of something soup. Now I like those ingredients as much as anyone, but for God’s sake, let’s make something with a little more flair, huh?

I stumbled across an easy crockpot dinner, with, count ’em, three—yes, three!—ingredients. You’ll need a couple of other bits on hand for the actual eating.

If you’re not familiar with carnitas, I recommend you get up close and personal with them.

What you’ll need:

  • An onion or two
  • A pork loin or roast
  • A can or two of tomatillo sauce (green sauce)

Here’s how it’s gonna go:

Slice the onion into ring or half rings. Spray your crockpot with cooking spray (don’t know about you, but my stuff always seems to stick in there).Toss in the onions. Plunk that pork right on top (fat side up is good) and then pour the tomatillo sauce over the whole thing. Set your crockpot on low and let it cook all day.

If you feel especially motivated, you can let it cool and skim off the fat before you serve it. We’re usually too hungry to mess with that. Once your pork is cooked, warm up some corn tortillas and slap on the pork and onions. Tech Guy and I like it with a little sour cream, but you could get wild and add whatever your heart desires. If you heat up a can of black beans, you have a full meal deal!

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This week is International Flirting Week. My suggestion is that you bat your eyes at the guy behind the meat counter so he’ll cut you a nice ole piece of pork booty. If you hit it off (and you’re not already spoken for), you can invite him over for carnitas later!

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